Icebag 8 is finally over. of course it was such a relief, but more than anything, what i feel now is nostalgia and (a little bit of) loneliness. well, the sem started with me on icebag mode and so now, i don't know where to start. i don't know where to spend my nights (the boring ones). plus the fact that i will definitely miss the rehearsals, late night meetings, we-have-to-rush kinds of tasks and of course the people. the cast, production staff, the wyre underground, practicumers, and the three performers who had their farewell performance (kiko, rand and chanchan). the chances of working with them again on-stage are quite tiny so i will definitely miss them.

here are some of the happenings during the four-night show (and the 12-4am re-run on the last night because of the number of audience that were not accommodated in the 7-11pm show)

i need to go to a doctor.
i need to go to a doctor.
i need to go to a doctor.
i need to go to a doctor.

conversation of the day:

mafe: ria, nakita ko yung dalawa kong crushes last sem...

ria: o...

mafe: nakita ko sila within a week last week... silang dalawa, nakita ko.

ria: o...

mafe: anong ibig sabihin no'n?

ria: (momentary silence) wala lang... meron ba dapat?

mafe: salamat ha...

ria: baka magkaka-boyfriend ka next week... (laughs)

mafe: (smiles) hmmm... i like that!

i sooo love my cousin!

conversation of the day (last night):

mafe: mitzi, may sasabihin ako sa'yo about him...

mitzi: ano yun?

mafe: feeling mo ba straight siya?

mitzi: hmmm...hindi. i think he's gay.

mafe: yun nga...i think so too...kasi...(long narrative that i can't mention here..)

mitzi: haaay...sayang! he's cute pa naman...and he's nice.

mafe: oo nga eh.

mitzi: well, there are two things you need in life: a gay best friend and a little black dress.

mafe: (kuliglig.)

Waaahhh...kala nio di na ko bumalik from cebu?hehe... actually, i wished i didn't have to come back. (God! bitter na naman ako...) but, of course, it's good to be back and to see the people to whom i was excited to give my pasalubong to. we really enjoyed cebu, the shows were successful and we experienced a little bit of cebu night life (yun yun e!).

i enjoy din this moment of my life. i discovered that there are a lot of people concerned about me, and to whom i could whine and tell my heartaches to (sniff sniff.) well, as much as i want to name them one by one, i couldn't. pero i'l try...

1. mitzi (to whom i cried first when i felt like my tear ducts were about to burst)

2. dylan (the second person i cried to. i cried the moment i saw him. parang i immediately knew na he's ready to listen.)

3. ria (who never failed to lift my spirit up)

4. carlo (who let me feel na we're friends no matter what)

5. my housemates (for being there)

6. Jas and Diana (for being my coffee buddies during my lowest moments and even sa mga "wala lang" moments)

7. sarah (for always reminding me what my worth is)

8. pantas people (for making me laugh although i wanted to cry)

9. cebu pips (for the fun in cebu)

10. batong (for texting me the sweetest text a guy friend has texted me, especially nung moment na a message like that could really help.)

11. sir dennis gupa and sir caloy (for listening kahit na my whining seemed so mababaw)

12. of course, to my one and only sister, marie fat (who instead of blaming me for not listening to her, sang songs na lang to me...hehe)

13. venice, jared, and chuck (for being my "kainuman" when i badly needed to drink beer)

there may be people out there na i forgot to mention. whoever you are, sobrang i appreciate you.

sabi nga, 'things happen for a reason'... maybe this is the upside of what just happened. for me to appreciate the people who really love me, instead of looking and expecting even a little bit of care from someone who might just be pretending to care for me. :)

conversation of the day:

mafe: Aidel, bigyan mo naman ako ng advice about love...

aidel: (thinks.) alam mo, gusto ko yung hellical na konsepto ng pag-ibig...

mafe: (looks strangely at aidel.)

aidel: (with gesture) yun bang ang pag-ibig ay nag-uugnay, kumakalas, nag-uugnay, kumakalas. paulit-ulit na proseso lang. iibig ka, masasaktan, kakalas, iibig, masasaktan, kakalas.

mafe: (kuliglig)

Wheeee...tomorrow's our flight to Cebu! How's that for a weekend after a depressing week? Yeah, a lot of things happened this week that almost tore me apart. But, of course, a lot of wonderful things are still waiting for me, and i'm so glad about it. The trip is the perfect time to unwind and leave my problems here in UPLB. Or maybe, i could bring it there so that when i get back here, they're gone.

conversation of the day:

Mafe: Trizh, kapag sinabihan kang "hindi tayo nag-eexist", ano ibig sabihin no'n?

Trizh: (Thinks hard.) Imaginary friend ka siguro. Or hallucination ka lang.

Mafe: (Kuliglig.)

What do you do when you just finished reading lots and lots of readings (and pouring gallons of blood you can't stop flowing from your nose) about theories you can't even comprehend because of stress over things you don't even want to bother think about but you can't help thinking about (or even crying about?) and you badly wanted to sleep because it's already 2:25 in the morning but you just can't make your eyes close?

In my case, i wrote a super-duper bitter-mushy-nakakahiyang poem. i know that once i post that poem here, my social life will come to its end. but i don't care. hehe.. :)

so here it goes: (promise me friends pa rin tayo ha!)

May mga teorya bawat proseso ng pag-iisip ng tao,
pero bakit pag-ibig ko sa'yo, walang teoryang nabuo.

Nalaman ng pisika kung pa'no kumakaripas ang bilis,
Pero pumapaspas na tibok ng puso ko, di masukat ang bilis.

Posisyon ng mga bituin, sa Astronomiya pinag-aralan,
pero mga talang pinili natin, pa'no nila malalaman?

Sa halos lahat ng sakit, may lunas ang medisina,
Pa'nong simpleng kirot ng puso ko walang mairesetang tableta.

Tinanggap ko na na walang mga teorya,
ni walang paliwanag ang Pisika at Astronomiya sa damdamin ko kung ga'no.

Sana lang.
Sana, kayang gamutin ng medisina ang sakit na dulot mo.

Waaaa!!! ako na ang mushy at cheezy...

Conversation of the day:

Gail: (enters room, sees Mafe nosebleeding over her Eng 103 readings)
Buhay ka pa, Mafe?

Mafe: Kailangang mabuhay...

Gail: Tama, tama. Ang tawag diyan ay internal locus of control.

Mafe: (Looks at gail, bleeds more.)
(Kuliglig.)