The past few days are okay. They were normal school days. But of course there are still things that happened that never happened to me before, but there was nothing so extraordinary. The only not-so-ordinary happenings are the exchange gifts, and preparation for christmas parties. Of course, those do not happen to me everyday.
But i think i'm wrong. Are they really not happening to me everyday? Or they do happen? Alam ko malabo. What i mean is, i can only feel christmas when it is december, when people are busy buying and wrapping gifts, when christmas songs are in the air, when my eyes are hurting because of blinking lights in windows of houses, when people are saying MERRY CHRISTMAS. But the fact is, everyday is christmas. It is just that people are not giving gifts nor greeting MERRY CHRISTMAS, christmas songs are not being played, and there are no christmas lights nor lanterns in houses. But indeed i receive gifts. Everyday. Every breath that i take is a gift. Every step that i make is a gift. Every people i talk to, every move that i peform, every single word that i utter, are all gifts to me. I just don't notice it because it is not christmas. And when it is not christmas, people are not supposed to receive gifts. I fail to appreciate gifts unless it is wrapped in beautiful papers. But God does not wrap his gifts. He does not want me to notice His gifts. He just wants me to have them. He does not care if I say thank you or if I even acknowledge our gifts. He will give His them to me anyway. Unconditional. Christmas or not. There is an occasion or none. Gifts are showering on me. EVeryday. All i have to do is to be grateful about it. To acknowledge that everything I have is a gift. I don't own anything when I was made. But God gave me all I need and all that i have now.
So, i now have the right to say that everyday is an extraordinary day. Because everyday has a new gift from God.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Hmmmm...how am i gonna start? After three days, ngayon lang ulit ako nag-visit ng blog ko. Right now, i am here in Caloocan. I spent the weekend here.. Andito ako sa isang computer shop na nakakapraning ang music.. Kanina sexbomb, ngayon hindi ko alam title ng music na 'to pero feeling ko hindi pa napapanganak si mama, na-record na 'to.. Hay naku.. I Can't find anything to say...
Kwento ko na kaya nangyari sa akin for the past three days (including today):

Friday: I woke up, nanginginig.. It was so cold kasi. But I still managed to get up and take a bath. Then ginawa ang walang kamatayang "going to school". Dinala ko na mga gamit ko na dadalahin ko sa MAnila. Math 11 was my first class for the day. Honestly, i didn't understand a word of what my instructor taughts us. It wasn't her. It was me. Ewan. I just have this habit na when i can't understand a lesson (especially math), my brain seems to shut up and stop working. Parang nakikita ko lang si ma'am na nagsasalita pero i can't catch up with anything she was saying. It was so frustrating! Tapos, nun lang pumasok sa isip ko na i didn't actually bring my book. SAyang din yung weekend, makakapag-practice sana ako dun sa math kaso nakalimutan ko nga yung book ko! Hay naku! After ng Math, I went to my next class, Eng 5. On my way, nasalubong ko classmates ko, wala daw kaming class. I went straight to McDonald's. I have a date kasi with my Cell leader's friend or can i say LG mate? Anyway, i waited there for an hour, then Mitzi came. We ate. Then, there came Iyam and Lia. We talked about the weather. Ang gloomy kasi ng weather nun. Actually, if given the chance, i'll choose not to go to manila na lang. Nakakatamad kasi yung panahon. The rain kept on pouring and pouring. Ako pa naman ang taong hindi nagpapayong. But i have to go anyway. 18th birthday kasi ng beloved cousin ko. Of course i wanna be there.
Few minutes later, dumating na si Ate Sca (siya yung ka-date namin). She talked to us about our new obligation, Cell leadership. Bigla ko na-miss si ate celat. I realized, miss ko na pala talaga siya. And to think na kami na ang bagong leaders sa cell, i'm so nervous. Different thoughts keep on playing in my mind. Puro what if's. Are we going to really make it? Do God really want me in this place? I don't know. If God is speaking to me, i can't hear Him clearly. And i can't wait to hear from Him.
When we finished talking, pina-print ko na Philo paper ko then went to my next class. We just passed the paper, tapos talked about some activities for the next week, tapos nag-announce si sir ng quiz. Essay daw 'bout what we are learning in his class so far. Sinulat ko namang may natutunan ako, and that i'm still confused with the difference of selfishness and egotism. I ended my essay there. I then passed the paper, at nagsimulang mag lakbay patungong manila.
Pagdating sa manila, wala pa si Ria (yung cousin kong may Birthday). There was a surprise mini-party for her. Obviously, she had not a single idea bout it. Sinabi sa kanya ng mom niya, there's no preparation. So pagdating niya, she was really...guess what? Surprised siyempre. Not to mention she was really happy. Feeling ko, mas masaya pa siya kesa sa ibang debutant na halos one year na nag-prepare for her big night. Tapos, kwento pa niya, her friends celebrated her birthday sa school. Bumili lang sila ng mga junkfoods, softdrinks, masaya sila! I could see in her eyes na she needed no big party. What matters is how she felt valued and appreciated by people around her. That's the important thing naman about being 18 eh. It's not about the 18 guys who'll dance with you and the 18 candles who'll make the wishes, it's the people who'll dance with you even without the roses, and the people who'll wish for you even without the candles. The best thing is, you'll discover na hindi lang sila 18, they're more than what you think. Yung malalaman mo na they are there kahit walang party, kahit hindi sila invited. I think that is what Ria was thinking kasi i sensed na she was so happy. And of course, i felt the same way for her.

Saturday: Paalis sina tita papunta sa site ng project ni tito sa Tagaytay . Ria and i decided na mag-joyride with them. Yun bang sa van lang kami habang nag-wo-work sila. Astig nga eh! Ang saya! Tapos, while waiting for them, we played badminton. Tapos nagkwentuhan lang kami ni Ria. ANg saya talaga.

Sunday: We woke up really early and attended the 7 am mass. After, uwi kami sa bahay. TApos, after lunch, we went to the mall and bought gifts for the exchange gift activities for the week. After nun, andito na 'ko sa harap ng coimputer, pilit na tinitiis ang unbearable na music sa computer shop na 'to.

Well, well,well... Second entry ko na. (Kelangan ba talagang bilangin?) Anyway, muzta naman ako? Eto, kakagaling lng sa maligamgam (actually, mainit siya, kaso malamig ang panahon, pag pinagsama mo, maligamgam! Does that makes sense?) na discussion sa Philo171 class namin. Kasi daw, i-differentiate daw ang Egotism and Selfishness. E di siyempre medyo na-windang kami...Paano nga ba? May pinagkaiba ba yun? Well, meron daw. Egotism pag you want to get what you want, magiging selfishness siya pag may nasasagasaan na na ibang tao. Dun na nagsimula ang lahat!!! Paano nga naman kung may nagbe-benefit from you pero may nasasagasaan ka? Selfishness pa rin ba? Tapos... moment ko na. Nagtaray ang lola. Paano kung sa tingin ng ibang tao, selfish ako, pero hindi ko alam na i'm being selfish na? Selfish ba ako? Paano kung akala ko mabuti yung ginagawa ko? Pero yun pala may nasasagasaan? Selfishness ba yun? Tapos lahat ng tanong, nag-fall sa isang sagot, MOTIVE. Nasa motive daw yun ng tao. Ngayon na-realize ko, wala akong karapatan na sabihing selfish ang sinuman. Unless alam ko yung motive nila. Of course hindi naman masasabi ng isang tao yung motives niya sa lahat ng makakasalubong niya, kaya hindi pwede sabihing selfish ang sinuman.. Pero may bumabagabag pa rin sa kin, e di walang selfish na tao! Sino ba naman ang taong aamin na selfishness yung ginagawa niya? Hay naku! ANg labo!
Isa lang ito sa patunay na may mga bagay sa mundo na kahit piliting ipaliwanag ay hindi pwede. May explanation nga, pero may anomalies pa rin. Pati ba naman selfishness ay daanin sa mala-scientific na pagpapaliwanag?!
Anyway, nang matapos ang pagpapaliwanagan, biglang naalala ng instructor namin yung paper namin na due sa Friday. Nakakaasar naman..Tapos naaalala ko na wala pa pala kaming nagagawa ng partner ko..Patay!