i was feeling sleepy all day. i think it is because of the stress i'm undergoing since last week. i noticed myself having this improper breathing (like mitzi's). sometimes i find it hard to pull a breath. i hope i'm okay, i dont' want to see a doctor or something unless i feel really awful. it might just add up to my stress.

maybe, it's also because of the thoughts i've been playing in my mind every now and then. i won't mind if those thoughts are about crushes or things that bother a normal person, but my thoughts are about my subjects for my next fictions that i have to submit in certain classes. it's okay sana if i really have something to think about, but the problem is, i can't think of anything to write. how hard is thinking about nothing but you know you have to arrive with something? i've tried it and its damned hard. in moments like this i wonder if i really want to be a writer. but i always arrive in the thought that it's already late for me to backout. i have to finish this course and maybe, i can decide afterwards. i know believe with what the studies say :"WRITERS DIE TWENTY YEARS EARLIER THAN NORMAL PEOPLE." i think this applies to real writers. i mean real writers do not write to express themselves as what the they-think-they-are-writers do. if you're a real writer and you know what a true writer's intention is, you will find it hard to write, and you'll realize that writing is a sacred thing, not just an outlet for emotion.

yesterday, we went on a trip to UP diliman and ccp. we watched a play entitled "shadow of the reef" in diliman and also a couple of plays in ccp entitled "ars poetica" and "rite of passage". i enjoyed them all and now proved to myself that anton juan, jr. (the writer and director of shadows of the reef and a theater prof in diliman) is a genius. i also admired the child cast of the "shadows..". that child is one hell of an actor. he was able to deliver his dialogues well and execute his dance movements amazingly. i'm really sad with the rumors that anton juan is soon leaving the country to pursue full-time teaching in the university of notre dame. i mean, that's another loss of a talent for our country. the plays in ccp were also incredible. the stories are great.

i wanna pee.

arghhh... something's wrong with blogspot.com.. it took me a little while before i was able to enter the site..

anyway, today was quite stressing. we discussed evolution in our sosc1 class! come on! why do we have to burn our brows in something that is not actually true? why do we have to pronounce words (like the scientific names of those apes alleged as our ancestors) that actually won't help us in anything? i mean, if we came from apes ( which is actually hard to prove and was just talked about in a bunch of stupid theories of those who think they look like apes), then what does it have to do with our lives.. it doesn't even help in boosting up one's self-esteem.. man-coming-from-ape-idea is just so annoying and non-sense..okay, or me.

we heard our exercise in dvcm30 today. i sounded like a sleepy, starving, script-reading dj.. it's so irritating. i never expected that it was that bad. i mean, while i was recording it, and i was in front of the mic, i sounded good, but obviously, the record says otherwise.

today was our first time to meet our students in lts 2. they were grade 5 students and needless to say, they are magulo! they were like the pigs where the demon which Jesus casted away from a man went. do you know that story? yeah, they were the pigs who jumped off the cliff when the demon went to them. i'm not saying that the kids are evil or something, but they do act like possessed pigs. no offense. they were so noisy and some were even breakdancing while we were teaching them. it was a traumatic experience. they are cute though. i wouldn't mind going back there, aside from the fact that it is inevitable, i know that somewhere in those children are their angelic side. let us pray.

i auditioned this afternoon for the play our thea107 (theater communication) class will help produce. i won't go to the specifics of the audition. all i can say is, I TALKED TO A KAWALI!. what a wonderful experience indeed. i made a fool of myself, really.

i'm still and becoming more tired.

Typhoon again. yet there wasn't anything exciting about it except for the coconut leaves falling while we pretend we don't care and continue attending our classes because there's no way our classes are going to be suspended. all of these are our heartless cancellor's fault!

about my last entry (the dating whatever), i'm planning to post here some of the pictures i took . but i haven't had any time to do it yet 'cause i'm busy with all the paperworks due this week. well, all i want to do now is to sleep and dream on having our classes suspended.

i just came from manila. i thought there was no way for me to get out of that place but to swim through the disgusting, black, super-duper-mega-napakakadiring baha for all seasons. fortunately, there was a way: to ride on tricycles! i can't imagine i had to suffer that just to attend my classes while my cousins were so relaxed sitting while watching the rain fall because they have no class. why does the world had to be so unfaiiiiiiiiir!

can you see? i'm tired!

do you still remember what we have tonight? it's thursday night! and it's the night for our forced-dating classmates..hehehe..i don't know but i'm the one who's feeling excited for them..well, it's better that to worry how will i describe them in whatever angle...

So what did i bring for this paparazzi-ish project? i should check it, yes!

1. pen.. a sure, not sick pen. (check)

2. four sheets of yellow paper to write on. (check)

3. a digicam... so if i get bored hanging around and watching them eat while i starve, i can just take pictures of them where i will base my write-up. i borrowed it from mitzi... (check)

4. Pangoy (the name of my umbrella)... so that i can still watch them if it rains, this is so unfair!... (check)

5. money... if i can't stand the sight of them eating, you know what i'll do... (check)

well, that's all for now...i'd better be going...i should be there when they arrive! wish me luck...=)

i'm currently conceptualizing the short story that i will submit to the org i am trying to enter. it is an eight page fiction. i initially planned to submit my finished ones, but i realized i need to make a new story. medyo kinakalawang ang utak ko for metaphors and imaginations. i really need to practice and the number one i need to do is to create new stories. right now, i'm on the seventh page, so one more page to go. i actually think it's not that good. i wrote it in Filipino because i just felt the need for it. the story basically emphasizes on Filipino culture so i thought it would be better if it would be in the language that will help convey that purpose. Also, the story is somewhat dramatic, so i thought that it will be more sincere if written in Filipino. i'm planning to make it an "in medias res" kind of story. it is the kind that has no beginning as it will have no end. well, it might depend on my mood once i started finishing it.

i'm also excited for Thursday night. two of our classmates(a boy and a girl) in our Eng106 (creative writing) class will have a dinner date on that particular night and it will be a treat from our prof. why they ended up forced to date each other is a loooooong story. basta, they will eat dinner together on thursday night without paying anything (except if the boy would give his date flowers.=)) of course our prof has a purpose in doing that. while they are busy dating and eating their yummy free meals, the rest of the class will have to stalk them and observe their date. in short, mag-aala paparazzi kami!we are required to write five descriptions of their dinner. yes, you read it right, FIVE! we will have to describe it in five different angles. it might seem fun now, but i wonder what will happen when i am already there. how will i find those angles. well, i guess we'll just see on thursday evening.

this morning, after our 10:00-11:30 class, gail and i walked to mcdonald's. the rain was pouring then and we literally were drenched from shoes to knees. we were also very cold and i was really shaking. luckily when we reached the gate, there was a free-taste nescafe booth outside. we went there and asked for coffee. it was so soothing. i was soaked in the rain, i was freezing to death and the coffee was the perfect companion in such a moment. then, one of the girls there handed me a flyer and survey sheet about the activity. however, the flyer was about a battle-of-the-band sort of thing sponsored by nescafe. it was entitled SOUNDSKOOL 2006.

my answers on the survey goes like this:

1. What do you think/can say of the coffee we gave you?
- TASTES GOOD. NOT TOO STRONG, NOT TOO SWEET. JUST WHAT A COFFEE SHOULD BE.

2. What do you think of this activity?
- PERFECT TIMING. YOU'RE COLD FROM WALKING IN THE RAIN AND SURPRISE! A FREE-TASTE COFFEE BOOTH RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GATE!

3. does this activity appeal to you or not?
- VERY APPEALING TO ME. CAN YOU DO THIS EVERYDAY?

4.before today, were you aware of Soundskool or not?
- NO. WHEN I STOPPED AND GOT A CUP OF COFFEE, THEY FORCED ME TO GET A FLYER. HUHU!

5. What do you think?can say of Nescafe's Soundskool?
- SOOOOOO MAINSTREAM-ISH! WHAT'S UP WITH BANDS AND ROCKERS GETTING INVOLVED IN PRODUCTS LIKE COFFEE, BEERS, SHAMPOO, ETC..NOWADAYS?

6. hOW did the activity make you feel towards Nescafe? Soundskool made nescafe...
- DID NOT CHANGE MY FEELINGS TOWARDS NESCAFE.. I NEVER THOUGHT OF BANDS WHEN I DRINK COFFEE ANYWAY.

7. have you heard of any other brand /company sponsoring a band competition?
- (checked yes)...YEEESSSSSS...

8. what brand/company sponsoring a band competition?
- CAN'T NAME THEM ALL..THERE ARE SO MANY, THERE ARE EVEN LOW-PROFILE ONES..

9. how do you think we can improve this activity?
- THE QUESTION IS: CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE?

10. Are you inclined to attend the Grand Finals on Nov. 11? How much would you pay for a ticket?
- I'M TIRED OF BANDS, BANDS, BANDS, AND BANDS. I HOPE YOU CAN REALLY OPT FOR PROJECTS THAT PROMOTE ARTISTRY, CULTURE AND INTELLECT...NOT JUST NOISE.

sorry for music-lovers out there. it's not that i'm against the idea of bands being famous and winning prizes from such contests. it's just that other kinds of arts are not given priviledge anymore to showcase their talents. i mean, it's always about bands, music, rockers, etc. what's up with up dharma down, sugarfree and brownian revival's involvement in head and shoulders, or kitchie nadal and barbie's ad in sunsilk? i'm getting tired of the word BAND!

there are a lot of things one can think about bagyo. right now, thinking about florita (the name of the current typhoon) makes me think of the affected families in northern luzon, the fishermen who weren't able to sail and make money in days, the ruined facilities (like a lightning striking the LRT2), and the possibilities of classes being canceled..YEHEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!! (kunwari pa 'ko, yun lang naman talaga inisip ko..=) ) i'm already thinking of how my day would be productive tomorrow, even if the classes will be suspended..i will definitely sleep until my eyeballs bulge out of my eye sockets! i will sleep until my head hurts and i can't move my body anymore!!! can you imagine how productive is that?! yeah, soooooooo fruitful day indeed...

nga pala, tonight i was able to attend the orientation of my dream organization since my freshmen days..it is a writing organization and i am so satisfied that finally, my chances of being member of the org is approaching.. it is my dream org not just that i will be able to practice writing but because it is not the stereotypical org in UPLB.. (yeah, like the orgs that define loyalty as slapping applicant's faces, cursing them at the top of their voices, and labeling them as idiots because they won't do what they want them to do, which are always unimaginable!).. i like the principles of this org.. they are a group which aims to hone talents and skills and produce artists, not wild, sadistic, ill-speaking, revenge-seeking members.. i've seen how they enjoy each other's company, even though they have no initiations-to-prove-love-for-the-organization processes.. i really am so excited to be a part of the family, and to write and write and write and to have someone appreciate my works (of course aside from my teachers and housemates..=) )..

i also enjoyed our dinner tonight..after eating a free meal at the said orientation, i went home and saw Yza cooking for dinner.. guess what they decided to cook (yes, it was a majority decision)..hard-boiled eggs (which turned out to be soft-boiled), pancit canton chili-mansi, beef flavored instant noodles, and a lot of rice..actually, they were planning to add tuna in the menu. i don't know what stopped my housemates from opening a can.. do i have a reason to expect tommy's (my stomach) complains later..=)

p.s.
we made tambay sa mini-stop until 4am! aliw! dis is a shot of me..:)

conversation of the day:

rula: ang dami na ng patalastas ni pacquiao..kulang nalang feminine wash..

mafe and jen: oo nga..

rula: naisip tuloy namin sa coma 105..siguro kung gagawa siya ng feminine wash commercial, ganito..(fist in the air, elbow 90 degrees, imitating manny pacquiao's voice and accent)
KNOCKOUT ANG AMOY!

mafe and jen: hahahahahahehehehehehahahahahahhehehehehahahahahahah!

and rula pa: hahahahahehehehehehahahahahhehehehehhahahahah!

note: Rula and jen are my classmates in dvcm 30 (fundamentals of community broadcasting)..we were seatmates on july 10..this is not the exact conversation, but it is as i remember it..=)

okay, remember my entry last time? (yeah, my last entry before this) i was talking about my reaction paper, right? yeah, i was able to submit it at last...this morning lang..and guess what? mali pala yung position ng page numbers ko..dapat sa lower middle pero i put it in the lower right hand corner! talk about matalino!..kaganda na nga ng title, ang galing pa ng page number!huhuhu...i should've bewn excellent pero anong ginawa ko? i ruined it because of one lousy title and lost page numbers who don't know san ba dapat cla! hmph..

eto pa, i found myself this morning singing alyssa alano's "keys me"..that was pretty annoying because it was really stuck in my mind and i couldn't get rid of it..i tried thinking of other songs pero wa epek..the worst thing is, i don't even know the lyrics, and yet the tune kept on playing in my mind..kaasar! not that i hate alyssa (*second thought..*), but it's that i hate the thought na other people are making fun of that song and yet i can't imagine why on the earth's crust did it stick in my mind..

tapos, sa aming coma 105 (advertising and public relations) class, nagrecitation kami..we were allowed to pick topics to recite which was initially okay but, (yeah, there's a big BUTT!!sorry BUT pala..:) ) we also had to pick out a situation in which manner we have to deliver our answers...and napunta sa kin is....."talking to a korean of your age"...i panicked talaga. i have no experience in talking with koreans...sabi ko kay teacher,
"ma'am i have no experience talking with a korean, japanese lang..."
she pouted her lips, and laughed out loud...bakit kaya?

i have a question...bakit mukhang pusa si Naruto?

i rushed here in the nearest computer shop in the middle of the night to print a paper i have to pass tomorrow..the paper is a reaction to an essay we read in our english101(english prose style) class. the essay is entitled "creative writing: can it/should it be taught?".. yeah! quite a complicated issue indeed. considering myself as a creative writing student, then i should be on the it can/it should be taught side, you would think. but ironically, and for a very strong reason, i chose to be on the other side. o, wag na ko pagpaliwanagin! i'm tired of it na because of the paper. but i think i did it well naman. i enjoyed writing it and ideas gushed out of my mind while i was typing the paper.
so as i've said, i had no difficult time doing it. then came the time when i have to think of a title for my wonderful critique-slash-reaction-slash-argument paper. aba, napatanga ako! i spent an hour thinking for a "creative" title (as what our teacher wants it to be). ang sakit sa damdamin. it was easy for me to write the whole paper and yet i was bothered just because of a phrase for the title! and then finally, i came up with the magical phrase.....................................tantananan-tan-tan-tan-tan..... (sorry, i'm out of beat tlaga..:D)..ETO NA......... "CREATIVE WRITING: WHY SHOULDN'T IT BE TAUGHT?".....ang creative noh? yeah, right! and to think na isang gold na oras kong pinag-isipan yan, ang sakit talaga! could it be na nasaid na ang utak ko for the right word kasi i really poured my best dun sa body niya?..arghhh...tapos ang kapal ng mukha ko na sabihin na hindi dapat tinuturo ang creative writing. dapat pala may subject sa com arts curriculum na Title 101 (introduction to titles or fundamentals of titles)...kaso parang nakakatanga yun!
namimiss ko na kapatid ko sa manila!:(

what could be more thrilling than recovering something you lost for the longest time?YEAH!!! it actually happened to me today...i lost the thing last sem, and now it's back to my arms after a couple of months...i won't go for the details now (if you want to know the details, just approach me and ask, i still won't tell..*joke*)
okay, i really think being shaky every 1 to 2pm of MWF is inevitable...so there is no choice but to endure it, right?